Speaking of the Unspeakable

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I think almost every woman I’ve ever encountered rants about trust – with their eyes ready to be narrowed and an almost imperceptible head roll that warns you to keep your mouth shut. It’s almost a sort of bonding ritual. And it binds them all to continue to mistrust. We all dutifully hang our heads because we’ve all been untrustworthy before and they think “mmhmm. Another douchebag.” at which point we’re second guessed forever because we have a penis, or immediately fucked. Or both. It’s an exhaustive Sisterhood cult thing that no one is allowed to say anything to. Because we’re all guilty. 
It also doesn’t give us permission to rise above our pasts, or the past of the jerk who was jumping up and down shouting “HI!!! I’M A BAD BOY!!! THROW EVERYTHING YOU ARE INTO ME TO PROVE YOU’RE LOVABLE EVEN THOUGH I’M OBVIOUSLY NOT INTERESTED IN GOING THERE!!!” …or something like that. 
Stop it. As long as the bonding through the Coven of Unjustly Brokenhearted keeps up there is no looking at what’s really happening that could change EVERYTHING…
Take some time.
Reboot your relationship with yourself.
Take baby steps getting reacquainted with your intuition.
Because somewhere along the way of redoubling your efforts at loving the bad old way it got misaligned and not to be trusted because you needed Sir Dumptruck to stay. So you batted that little voice down that told you he was full of shit. Traded away another piece of integrity for his presence. Now, horribly askew, you growl at anything wearing brown cowboy boots and are annoyingly repulsed by and drawn to varying versions of the same old shit.
Make friends with yourself again – or for the first time.
In an alternate universe – right next to you – people trust until you give them reason not to and it’s not a reflection on their worth or value. Because they like themselves.

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Ding! Dong! The Witch is Dead!

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Yes, I know it’s childish. Aint it great? Fuck you Hillary, and your little dog (er, husband) too.

I was hesitant to post this for fear that it would cue Hillary grabbing Obama’s ankle and dragging him down after he’s killed her 5 times already, ala Jason. Apparently though it appears the Congressional townsfolk have lit the torches and glommed their pitchforks. Enough’s enough.

The real horror for me through this whole primary has been the specter of sexism. It was pointed out to me awhile back that slaves technically got the right to vote 60 years before women in this country. (though Jim Crow shut that down) That comment, watching Hillary wield the charge of sexism as a weapon and using it to court favor in a blink got me thinking. I watch my boss, a 60yo white woman who runs a company, a fervent 2nd wave feminist (thanks Shannon) turn on the southern charm at will, bust balls in boardrooms and reflexively (and angrily) take the politically accepted feminist stance on everything, come hell or high water. She, like Hillary seems almost cartoonish to me in her rage and manipulativeness.
Now being ‘white guy’ I am absolutely positive that I am blind to and propagate sexist behavior all the time. Sexism has been brought front and center at the national watercooler. I see it more than I used to and it also makes me aware that it isnt even close to striking a socially conscious nerve in our society yet as other civil rights groups have done.
The 3rd wavers I know seem to have tossed the ‘Woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle’ mantra. They’re mellower. As Obama and all of us who support him see the world a little less color-focused, 3rd wave feminists seem to have reclaimed some classic femininity and owned it as a choice, not a duty hoisted upon them while still working towards raising awarenesses and breaking ceilings. Hillary is to feminism what Rev. Wright was to race relations; as Obama pointed out in his amazing speech on race a couple of months ago www.youtube.com/watch they see the injustice. They fight against it. But they can not envision a society without it. At some point that makes them a liability to their own cause. Einstein said “I can not solve my problems with the same level of thinking I had when I created them”. Hillary and my boss exemplify the old way to me. Like Rev. Wright, they both still fight the battles of the 60’s using activism tactics from the 70’s.
The horror for me though has been in listening to and watching Hillary supporters reactionary vitriol. They have seemed hell bent on backing Mrs. Clinton as a messiah in spite of the facts: She parses and sidesteps as good as Bill and refuses culpability as bluntly as Dubya. The Clinton’s are as insular and paranoid as the current administration and with the upcoming landslide in congressional seats would’ve created similar disasters inherent with a dynasty with no checks and balances. It has boggled my mind that they can not see how deadly this combination of traits; her ease with lying, inability to admit she’s erred, and paranoid us v. them mentality would’ve only continued to harm our national psyche. Consequences be damned – she’s our girl!
No better than the jury in the O.J. trial.

The only way i see us not ready for a woman as president is that no 3rd waver has made it to a place of political prominence yet. I just bet President Obama helps pave that way and I cant wait to vote for her 8 years from now.