This sounds mean and cruel but it isn’t my intent. It breaks my heart hearing people claim their picker is broken, as if it were a defective feature outside themselves. It also proclaims that they fully intend on picking another version of what they’re unhappy about now.
Water seeks it’s own level. I always pick what I am on an emotional level. Owning that is one of the hardest truths I’ve ever had to swallow. Doing so meant the beginning of a new life with new choices. Arguing against it means a promise of more of the same.
I think the aspect of acknowledging responsibility for the people I choose in my life is super important. Almost everyone I know who uses the broken picker bit does so to distance responsibility. It’s ‘them’, not me. Stupid picker.
I absolutely agree that we pick partners to help us work out our issues. Totally. Sadly we do it unconsciously for the most part, chasing fire without realizing that that intensity is our neuroses igniting our libido, and calling it ‘fate’ as Jung would say. We try to work out our demons with a synchronistic lover, though blindly, dangerously. Two steps forward, one step back if we’re lucky.