The Vivid, Shining, Warmth of Right this Fucking Now

We often promise to live life more fully, to stay in touch, to love one another more significantly as we gather for a friend’s funeral. A promise faded by life’s duties. Nearly dying myself created a sea change in me. Carpe Diem became not so much a shouted bravado but rather a quietly pulling current motivating everything I did from that day forward. Creating a richness I would have previously slept through in case something better might happen tomorrow. Interestingly it wasnt my medical dramas that sparked my initial resolve. It was the near death of a shattered heart that inspired me to live every day as if it were my last – enriched tenfold by living it as if it might be your last too. For it was my misinterpretation of what Love was that sent me crashing in the first place. Love isnt as it turns out only reserved for that Special One. It is for everyone I share my life with, if even just for a day. 
Trust me, the Special One will appreciate the lack of smothering.

Making You Pay for My Bill

It was important for me to contemplate the list of people in my life today and throughout my past who I’ve made pay for the harm done me decades ago, making me no greater a person than the one who hurt me. It is within my power to use the tools freely given me (and likely not available to those that hurt me) to right that wrong and thus setting me, that person and all those I’ve made suffer for my hurt free.

Pissed Off & Mad About It

I learned the words ‘HATRIOT’ and ‘FRIGHT WING POLITICS’ this morning. Normally I quit listening or reading the second someone uses a kitschy slur to describe someone but I have to confess a certain detestiness for an increasingly large segment of my demographic (middle aged white guy) that is simply pissed off at the world, blames everyone on the planet for his messed up life, hates (see: fears) anything that isnt just. Like. Him. and rails endlessly about ‘the other’. 
Here’s the thing; for all your tourettes laden ranting about Liberty and Freedom, socialist, Kenyan, fascist, gun taking, internationalist, lame stream media conspiracy theorism, you’ve forgotten one little thing. 
 
Your life is your fault.
 
You are the one single common denominator in every failed aspect of your unhappy little life. It would take a Herculean effort on the part of everyone who’s ever touched your life and not acted right to have pooled together the resources to actually conspire against you every single day of every single chapter in every single era of your life. 

You just aren’t that important. Neither am I. And that’s okay. 

I suggest a sea change. Perception is reality. Turn off FOX (or MSNBC) and go outside. I know you adore your dog. Just for today, try treating someone who doesnt look like you as kindly as you do Fido. Trust me, they wont be expecting it and the look of shock on their face may just be worth it. But it’ll make you feel better. Right away. There’s real power in that. And that, too is your fault.